MY STORY

I am a woman who is committed to the path of awakening, I am dedicated to the sacred, I stand for the restoration of feminine consciousness within humanity and for freedom, equality, connection, belonging and vitality for all. I stand for the earth and all her creation.

I believe we are all interconnected in the web of life, and I know that there is a blessed intelligence that flows through all of us.

I celebrate the creative blessings that flow through me and offer them to the world with the hope that they bring pleasure, healing, beauty and awakening to others.

I have been an artist all my life. I primarily paint but I have dabbled in all manner of creative expression.

I love dancing!!!!!

I love the beach the forest the mountains and the desert……I love nature, I really love her. She is my muse and a direct source of inspiration. She is my solace and my peace.

There is a deep, ancient recollection of sovereignty and freedom within me. I try to live my life as close to the Earth and the mysterious feminine wise woman ways as I can. I choose the creative, sacred intuitive path as a manifestation of my life's work as a therapist, as an artist and a teacher. I offer myself to the world with the hope that we will wake up before we go too far.

I hold the prayer and vision that we will restore ourselves from being the dictators and destroyers over nature and embrace entirely, our custodianship of this magnificent world and each other.

RECLAIMING THE ANCESTRAL MEDICINE

As a woman who has not had children in this life, I have had to endure the deep longing and wounding that comes for some who live this journey.

I come from a lineage of people who lived through much hardship and persecution. My parents on both sides immigrated as children with their parents to Australia from Nazi occupied Ukraine during the second world war.

I grew up on the stories, the longing for home, the despair of exile, the unresolved PTSD and the wonderful rich traditions, my grandmothers amazing European cooking and my Grandfathers dedication to teaching us everything he could about our culture. We lived amongst a strong community of immigrants who had forged community, society and safety in the new land but all longed for the days of home before the horrors.

When I was 2 years old my father literally staged his own disappearance. Our entire lives were turned upside down over night. In his absence my mother embodied the wild gypsy archetype of our ancestry. Life in the 70's for a single wild, deeply wounded, gypsy woman with three small children was tough. As it also was for my sister, my brother and I.

My ancestors were remarkable survivors. They endured so much to ensure that their offspring could live in freedom and without fear. I could not comprehend this until I got older and I started to see. With each passing year now my reverence and awe deepens.

As life unfolded for me and it became clear that I would not be birthing children in this lifetime I was overwhelmed with a deep sense of having let down the women who came before me, who endured absolute horrors and the toughest of circumstances so that I may live today to continue the line. They passed the thread down the line and now as fate would have it I am the end of the line.

I struggled with that for a long time. It was very painful and confusing.

When I could finally accept that I was not going to be a mother in this life I turned to the women who came before me in the spirit realm with deep reverence and asked them what the significance of my journey was?

I made the commitment to fulfill the destiny of the line and to reclaim the magnificence of all women who came before. I vowed to them that I would reclaim all the fragments of feminine power and wisdom and beauty and magic and artistry. I vowed I would restore all that had been lost under the veils of trauma and patriarchy and fear. I, as the one who stands at the end of the line was determined to fulfill the destiny of all the women who came before me. I would ensure they did not live their lives in vain.

At that point I began my trauma healing journey in earnest. I dived very deep with art therapy, shamanic practice, embodiment practice and endured a frightening medical crisis that involved surgeries and enormous physical pain. I was trawling through layers and layers of trauma, and it looked like it was never going to stop. It was drowning me.

I came upon a shamanic wise man, a reader of bones who explained to me that to undertake this kind of journey it is crucial to find an ancestor in history to connect with who is healthy, strong of spirit and regulated. Someone who is not overwrought with trauma, someone who’s DNA, essence and being I could bring forward through the eons into today, into me. He took me on a journey to find her. I had to journey a long way back to ancient times in an ancient land but I found her or should I say she found me.

I know her simply as Deer Woman.

She was the one who lived in alignment with her innate wisdom, she was the one who knew herself to be as much a part of nature as the forest the animals and all of life. She was the one who walked with the wild deer in Ancient Baltic forests and bowed to them as sacred kin. She was the one who knew all the ancient ceremonies for the healing ways of the women. She was the one who held space for the wisdom and virtues of Men. She was the one who held the children close in her heart and offered herself as gentle grandmother and fierce protectress. She was the one who was sovereign and free, wild and untamed.

Some how across the eons of time and geography and beliefs and programming she came into being within me and I became her student inside my own being.

I spent a year in deep ceremony with her. I made her regalia just as she instructed me to make it in the traditional ways. Felting, stitching and praying over every thread, making offerings and blessings for the fleece that formed the flowers of her headdress, giving thanks to the deer who offered antlers for her adornment and empowerment.

Finally, through these garments and sacred objects I was able to fully embody her for sacred ceremony and a profound sense of alignment with her.

She is now my guide, my knowing, my muse. She is all the women who came before me inside of me.

She is my link to the profound web of life, to the sophisticated intelligence of nature, to the ancient ways of how it was when we all knew that we are of nature and celebrated with sacred reverence this profound and amazing truth.

When I create it is she who creates through me. When I paint, it is she who paints through me. When I dance it is she dancing through me. When I sing it is she singing through me. When I sit in circle it is she holding space through me. When I hold sacred space in therapeutic settings it is she who holds that space.

She is the unending force of all that came before me in the weaving of the sacred web of life.