In shock, in the cold and on my own.
I waited 2.5 hrs for the ambulance to come.
I knew as soon as my body hit the ground and my arm hit the log that it was broken. The pain was of course excruciating. I knew it was broken.
I guess being on the earth and in the forest is one of the most comforting places I can be so I lay there for a long time. Asking for comfort from her, feeling into the pain and watching the waves of shock jolting around my body. It was cold, really cold and the shaking was starting to get the better of me.
I got my phone out and rang the ambulance. I had 10% charge left once I had finished speaking to them and they warned me it would be a while. They told me not to move so I stayed there but it was getting really cold. I tried calling friends for help but I had no luck, the ambulance people phoned to say it would be a lot longer and then my phone ran out of charge. I was completely on my own.
I did a check in with my inner child who was of course freaking out and decided that I, the adult me, had to keep it together enough to keep her safe and work out what to do. At this stage there was a lot of praying involved....well asking for guidance and for help.
I had my wits about me enough to try all my self soothing stuff..... but the pain.... wow so intense. I was hardly staying conscious.
When it all got too much I became very aware that my Grandmother was there and she was telling me i had to get myself to my car. The car was quite a distance away, it seemed impossible but I knew she was right.
I have no recollection of actually getting to my car, but I got myself out of the bush and to the safety and warmth of my vehicle.
When the ambulance arrived. I had the car running, heater full blast and phone charging. I was pretty freaked out....and so glad to see them.
That was a week ago and since then I was in hospital for 5 days and I have had surgery...it's all been pretty traumatic. Big waves of pain and in the haziness of it all I still feel myself in those moments lying on the forest floor surrendering myself to destiny and wondering if this day was going to be my last.
I cant say that any of it makes sense to me yet. I'm still under the influence of strong pain relief and maybe in shock....but I am so incredibly grateful to the Angels who have stepped up to help me through this. Thank you, thank you to everyone who effortlessly sorted it all out whilst I was stuck alone in the hospital just trying to deal with my whole life being flipped upside down and the pain.
I'm so grateful for all the love and the healing and practical support that has come my way I cant believe it.
I am so deeply grateful thank you.