Finding purpose in difficult times.
From many directions at once I have been reminded of the difficulties of the times we are living in. The suffering people are enduring, the chaos and the corruption that is spinning out of control in the world and in the spirit of humanity. I am compelled to find a way to respond that is meaningful and of service, and so I have been in deep contemplation.
I had an experience a long time ago that has returned to me so vividly like it only happened yesterday.
Roughly 30 years ago I attended a meditation group at a local community house...nothing fancy. Just a guy instructing a group of women on how to meditate.
I followed his instructions and the most extraordinary thing happened.
As I went into the meditation I felt a hand on my shoulder. I assumed it was him, the teacher, but I could clearly hear his voice on the other side of the room.
I turned around and opened my eyes to see. What I saw was an enormous translucent giant, I mean giant of an Angel ( some kind of light being) standing behind me. I very quickly closed my eyes and figured I was doing something wrong. The guy didn't say anything about this. I settled and then heard the being telling me to prepare myself as he was going to take me on a journey.
Next thing I was in his arms and we were journeying through fields of light and energy. I was frozen in shock. I felt this beings benevolence but nonetheless it was completely overwhelming.
Eventually we arrived at a place he telepathically told me was the crystal palace. As we got closer and closer a portal opened to allow us to go inside. There were hundreds of these beings. I could hardly see them as they were so shimmery and translucent but they could see me. They welcomed me.
To look back now I can say that I was very aware of my vibration. At the time I didn't have the word vibration. What I felt was heavy, dense and dirty. I also felt a lot of shame. They were all so beautiful and light and I was so dense.
No one spoke there. All communication was imagery in the mind...not even words anymore.
Some of the beings gathered around me with instruments I had never seen before and started to play some kind of frequencies. Back then I didn't have the word frequency either, it was beautiful sounds that I couldn't hear but changed everything around me.
Firstly I could see them clearly, secondly I felt light and free and beautiful and love. Somewhere in me I knew I was love. I knew I was meant to be there.
After a time I was approached by a particular being who looked very human except for her translucent skin. She told me I was ready and asked me to trust her. I absolutely did. She and two other beings took me into a smaller space Where she showed me in images that they were going to do a procedure with me. Then they some how opened up the top of my head and poured a huge chalice full of translucent light seeds inside my head. I was stunned but there was no fear. Afterwards I rested, they played more "music"and it was altogether divinely beautiful.
The big guy returned and told me he was taking me back. To be honest I wasn't that interested. I would of gladly stayed there. It was so very beautiful. The woman who did the procedure approached and told me that I was to come back and plant the seeds they had poured into my head. I agreed but had no idea what she meant.
When I came out of the meditation and back to the group. The teacher said does anyone want to share their experience? So I did. He had no idea what I had experienced, actually he was dumbfounded. I was embarrassed. My friend that I had gone with chastised me for making up such a huge story, she was embarrassed. I doubted my experience and then decided I'd made it all up, I was crazy and it didn't matter....but I never forgot about those seeds. There were more experiences with these beings but I just couldn't hold the level of lightness they kept showing me.
For thirty years I have wondered what those seeds were all about. Finally I believe I under stand. To put it simply we are the seeds. I think that we are the seeds of change the world needs to nurture and grow right now. What we are gifted with is the power to charge our vibration with intention. To be aware of the frequency of our minds, in our hearts and how we emit them into the world.
As my beautiful friend, teacher and mentor reminded me recently, the time for trying to change or wake up or heal anyone else is over. Its up to us as individuals within the collective to allow everyone the free will of their souls in this enormous turning we are all experiencing.
We, through earnest intention and commitment to the path of love are the seeds of change, the evolution of life on earth.
I am not speaking of love in the romantic sense or even in a relational sense. I am speaking of love as the true vibration of compassion, care, self responsibility and most importantly genuine good will, kindness and complete acceptance within ourselves.
From this place we can move beyond the wheel of trying to win love from others. We can free ourselves from being bound to the desperate plight to be good enough for love. We can give up the blame, shame game. We can start being the seed that plants the essence of love everywhere we go. Generating the vibration inside ourselves rather than seeking it outside in others. From this place we can open to genuine connection, thriving and union. Not just with a significant other, friends or family but with all of life.
I'm not suggesting that this is easy. I am however suggesting it is simple.
If we face with earnest and honorable intention the parts of ourselves that are still hustling for love from others. If we can face with earnest and honorable intention the parts of ourselves that hold us in the frequency of lack and inadequacy. If we can with earnest and honorable intention be there for ourselves. We become the eternal seed of love in the world, in the field of humanity, in the web of life.
Our vibration is everything. The Angels or whoever they are taught me that. It doesn't matter what you say or what you do. In an energetic world there is nowhere to hide. There is nothing to hide, we are all freely choosing the frequency we contribute and how that affects the whole from within our own being.
If there is anything to be done to help The Earth Mother and the entire web of life at this time it is to become love. There is no greater purpose in this life than to remember how sacred, beautiful and significant we are.